Trying to cope

I found this on a site for women who have had miscarriages. I am having a hard time with sorting my emotions. One minute I am sad, yet hopeful and another minute I am angry and discouraged and don't want to try again. I hope time will heal this loss, but at the same time, I don't want to forget that there was a life in me. Just because it wasn't born doesn't mean that I didn't love him or her and want to hold them in my arms...

Still (song)

I've been waiting for you for such a long time
You're always on my mind
And I'm laying awake most of the night
Waiting to hold you tight
Now that I do, and look at you
MY heart is breaking, this can't be true

Lost you before I found you
Gone before you came
But I love you just the same
Missed you before I met you
On Earth we never can, but in heaven we'll meet again

Close to my soul, close to my heart
Right from the start
Lost in time, lost in space
Can't wait to see your face

Now that I do, and look at you
MY heart is breaking, this can't be true

Lost you before I found you
Gone before you came
But I love you just the same
Missed you before I met you
On Earth we never can, but in heaven we'll meet again

Sometimes I find myself wondering what to do
With this pain that I'm going through
But I know one day, God will take me away
And I'm coming home to you

And when I do, and look at you
My heart is healing, I know it's true

Lost you before I found you
Gone before you came
But I love you just the same
Missed you before I met you
On Earth we never can, but in heaven we'll meet again
In heaven we'll meet again

Pregnant!

Most of you already know, but we are expecting! Our little one is due November 4, 2010 and we are pretty excited. The first few weeks were a little difficult because I was worried about miscarrying. But after two doctors appointments, things seem to be alright. (of course I still worry - it's an inherited trait, after all). And finally! - the all-afternoon and evening, aka "morning" sickness has started to subside. Whew!!
My cravings seem to include anything with cheese like cheese pizza from Costco, grilled cheese sandwiches, and macaroni and cheese. And then at times, I just want fruit and vegetables - not chocolate anymore (and I don't miss it!).
I will post ultrasound pictures when they actually start to look like a baby. Right now, Baby Foust looks like a grape. Next appointment April 12th!